Never Too Late

Yesterday was an absolutely surreal day for me, and if I was dreaming, I never want to wake up. It takes a certain kind of dedication and determination to graduate from high school at 40. Among the rest of the graduating class of the online school I attended (I still have another week of assignments and then exams before I'm done) was my 21 year old daughter. If I wasn't pursuing post secondary education, I could imagine just having my highschool diploma will do for me in the job market. It seems that even minimum wage jobs now are looking for that diploma. I do however plan on staying in school for a while. I am still undecided on which path to follow. I have two very different paths in front of me, both would be very rewarding careers in the future, and both would keep my interest.

Growing up I always wanted to be a doctor, now due to age issues and how long it takes to get through medical school and internships, I realize that isn't a realistic goal, so I downgraded it to practical nurse. The only issue with this path is I have learned in the last 5 months that I really HATE science! Well, hate is a strong word, but it really applies to how I feel about chemistry. Biology and I get along somewhat, but I struggled with chemistry all semester. When I wasn't struggling with chemistry, that would be the time that I would be struggling with biology. So I am not entirely sure that is something I want to do for the rest of my life.

In my teens, I was introduced to computers, and a programmer friend of my parents. I thought becoming a computer programmer would be a fun job. When I was 17, I shared an apartment with someone who was a game programmer. I excelled at learning DOS (Yes DOS!) one of the starting operating systems of pc's, and loved every minute of it. Picking up on new software packages and application programs is relatively easy for me and almost comes natural. A few years ago, I decided I wanted to learn how to write the code for websites. I wasn't satisfied just using a web editor, I needed to know how to do it all by hand, so that's what I did! Although the word science is used in the computer industry as well, it isn't a traditional science, and it is one I actually get along with. It seems sometimes that a pc and I speak the same language! Being an online gamer, I have started to learn the ins and outs of C# scripting (not that I have dedicated much time to it so far, due to school). I actually understand what I am looking at when I look at a C# script, which is what is causing me to lean more toward a career in technology and programming. Since I wasn't accepted to college for September 2012, I am taking at least one additional high school level courses, a grade 11 computer programming. I may take a grade 12 computer programming, if I enjoy the grade 11 version, as it will be more advanced. I will know by the middle of the first semester if this is something that I want to pursue.

Now, on to other news!

I finally have a solid date for surgery! I will be going down on July 23 depending on the time of surgery (I may go down the day before if it is going to be an early morning surgery time). This means that I start my Optifast on July 1. I am a little disappointed that it is going to be as late in the month as it is, only because on the first weekend of August my favorite singer from the 80's is going to be in town, and I really wanted to go and enjoy Meatloaf. I may still be able to go, but because it is going to be an open air concert, it will really depend on how I am feeling the day of the concert. I am trying to encourage my husband to go and get pictures, but he knows as well as I do that being there and seeing pictures just won't be the same thing. So I am really hoping that in the almost 2 weeks between surgery and the concert, I will be able to do a bit of walking to get to the concert location, at our beautiful waterfront. We will go down early, with a chair for me to sit on if I need it, and get a spot up close to the stage so that I can see the stage even if everyone is standing for the concert. So I guess I play that one by ear. My anniversary is that same weekend (August 1) so since I won't be able to go out for dinner with my hubby, I kinda think going to see one of our favorite singers will be a perfect thing to do.

The good thing about surgery being scheduled for July 23, is that I will have a little over 6 months to recover from surgery before Christmas. By Christmas I should be eating normally, only in much smaller portions. I will also have that 6 months to take off weight, and make myself feel a bit better regarding seeing pictures of myself. Family portraits are something that we normally do to accompany gifts to family, so I am comforted knowing that I will be looking a little more like the person I see in my head! In order to help take off the weight, and to try and minimize the amount of loose skin I may have, I have made the decision that I am joining Curves. Working a circuit like Curves will keep me motivated. It also puts me in an environment that is all women, doing the same thing, for the same reasons. We will all be there to either get healthy and physically fit, or stay that way. I will also be working out at home, but I need the motivation of going out to do it as well. I think back to when I was a teenager, before I got pregnant with my oldest daughter (I was just shy of 19 when she was born). I was into aerobics, running, I walked or rode my bike everywhere back then, including to the next city (which was a 15 minute drive!). Over the last 21 years I have often looked back and wondered what happened to that girl. The only answer I could come up with, a brutally honest answer, I got lazy. Well, the lazy me is being pushed out of the way! I know people who have gone thru the drastic measures of surgery, and sure they are losing weight because their portions are smaller, but they haven't changed their thinking, so are still sitting around like they did before they started to take off the weight. I also know people who have had surgery, who are active, running, hiking, never taking time to sit down long. Looking at these people, I can actually see the difference in the faces of those who are happily pursuing a more active lifestyle and those who are not. I don't want to be the person who has surgery, only to turn around and not change a thing except my portion sizes. I want to run again, without pain. I want to be able to get on a bike and not have pain at the other end. I know of someone who took a week vacation and hiked the Bruce Peninsula (or portions of it anyway), I want to do that! The pictures looked amazing and I want to experience it first hand.

My husband and I have been talking a lot recently about different goals, and rewards for meeting those goals. Something I loved doing when I was young was roller skating. I was never very good at ice skating but put wheels under me and you couldn't stop me! I didn't inline skate, I actually rolled around in a big oval, at a roller rink, with quads below me. I would like to get back to that, but I would also like to step into the 21st century and start inline skating, outside! So, following an idea that someone gave me, when reading her halfway goal (she got a bike!), I would like to get these inline skates. Logically, I know that by the time I reach my 75lbs lost, it will likely not be ideal to go skating on inlines (would be likely more weather for ice skates hehe). But I think, even if I get them then, I will be able to wear them when the weather warms up. Something to look forward to. So, this will be my gift to myself when I take off half the weight I need to lose.

This is my reward once I get the weight off 100%. I have always wanted a western outfit. This jacket and hat are perfect for me. I found a pair of boots to match. This is something that hubby is going to buy for me. I can see me, putting this on, including the boots (which I will post below) and walking into a country bar, to dance the night away! I promised a friend of mine that once I take off some of this weight, I would go dancing with her at the local country bar. I've never had a whole lot of coordination for dancing, but I love to have fun with it.

If you are reading this post, and there is something you have always wanted to do, to go and see, to accomplish educationally, or to finally buy and wear, I just want you to do know that I am living proof that it is never too late to get to the finish line of your goals. I have wanted to finish high school for about 18 years. I always regretted not finishing. I regret it no longer, because I did it! And you too can do what you have always longed to do. It's just a matter of determining that NOTHING is going to hold you back, and then stick at it. In the end, you won't regret doing it! I know I don't!